Don Juannabe Part II: The Library

Ok. So. Yeah.

I mean. The library. I love the library. It’s pretty much quiet time for adults. Amiright? Apparently, I am not.

Apparently, libraries are just another place to get hit on by creepers. Listen up here, dudes. If I’m in the library with a coffee in one hand and a book in the other and I’m scouring the shelves for all the things to read, DO NOT INTERRUPT ME.

Especially, if your go-to pick up is “you don’t look like you’re from here.” Um, really? What do you mean by ‘from here’? Are you suggesting I’m from another planet? What makes me look so different that I couldn’t possibly be from the city I was born and raised? My glasses? Maybe it was the mere fact that I was wearing clothes and looked put together for once in my life. My normal outfit is yoga pants and a sweater or a slight version of that.

Anyways, if I awkwardly giggle and walk away, please do no proceed to follow me around. This whole shenanigans started on the 3rd floor and ended on the main floor. Somehow, by a stroke of pure magic, dudeman exited the library at the same time I was trying to skedaddle out of there. He approached me again and said, “excuse me, can I talk to you for a minute?” I thought he was going to hand me a pamphlet about Jesus or something.

Nope. He asked if “I gots a man”. You best believe I told him I was happily girlfriended up. Then he asked if I was sure. I was as sure as I am that the sun rises in the east and sets in the west.

I mean, I guess I get that it might take a lot for a guy to be all, “what’s your sign” and all that jazz. But just do it to someone else. When I’m in my zone that’s a big Do Not Disturb time.

I thought my RBF would’ve taken care of that but I guess not.

I think I’ll knit a sweater that says “I’m really not interested. Yes, that means you”

If that doesn’t work, I don’t know what will.

Over and out,



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